I figured I'd post random crap I made on deviant cause I havent slept in 24 hours and I start getting weird after the first 20. So I click on the main page and I see the cutest kitten ever and Im like awww. I refresh the page " SHAZAAM sonic the hedgehog porn!" all over the page :'( I hate this site.

puh puh! Test ahh! tomorrow Crap!! Life ending! so gonna fail! No new news!!! In a relationship! OHnoes! Sort of in love! July we unite to fight evil! Wtf am I gonna do! Shes hot and weird! Not good! Rich! kinda cool! My boss is gay! No really hes gay! Best friend not home! I miss him! .. Is that gay?!

"Open your minds, sweethearts," begins the soothing rant of enlightenment advisor Dvorah Adler. "Take a deep breath in and a deep breath out. It's time for you to hear the big secret of the ages, the radical truth of truths that only the wisest gurus and avatars and grandmothers are brave enough to reveal. Are you ready? Here it is: 'SHUT UP AND BE HAPPY!'" I'm pleased to convey Dvorah's ancient truth to you, Pisces, because it's what you need to hear right now. So please, darlings: Shout, whisper, or sing "SHUT UP!" to all the voices in your head that are so addicted to saying "What am I doing wrong?", "When will I finally be happy?", and "Why can't everything be perfect forever?" The fact is, you are exactly where you need to be, and everything is proceeding with mysterious grace.


I just broke up with a girl I'm not even dating today. I don't think I can go a day with regretting something.

New stuff coming soon...

My page views finally exceeded my forum posts, but only because I stopped posting a long time ago. In celebration I'm updating my journal.


I'm doing absolutely nothing. I drew a suicidal robot yesterday I was very pleased with if that gives you any indication of my mood.

I don't know. Just can't get into anything. I almost shattered my elbow skateboarding the other day. Ironically it was in the house and in between rounds of counter-strike. I was gonna quit playing cs but when I try to do anything else I just get depressed. It helps take my mind off Emma when she's not around. I took a step back from her. Right now despite the fact that I love her and she loves me, we are more or less just friends. It's the only way I can deal with her being with someone else. It would be easier if I didn't feel so damned alone. She told me she got a creepy text from someone she barely knows saying he "missed her". When I do that I get completely different and positive reaction, but am I so different from him? Who knows? I don't want to worry about it or anything else involving Emma anymore so I'm doing what she asked in the first place and dropping the whole mess. Will February change things? I can't honestly say but it would mean the world to me if things go at least as initially planed. *That part is directed at you hamster turd.*

Enough of that.

I have several things on my life "to do" list.

1. Renovate my house. I need to get this SOB sold. I don't care how much it will be worth if I hold onto it. You can imagine what a misery it is to have to worry about it all the time.

2. School. School. School. That's what really makes me happy. When you get my age you realize that love is a part of life but it's not the most important thing. Some people never realize it but doing what makes you happy is the goal in life. Sometimes love comes along for the ride and sometimes it doesn't. I'm gonna try and start school in the spring. I'll enroll in sort of journalism that allows me to travel because I have trouble sitting in one spot for more than a few minutes.

3. Walk away from a car wreck just before it explodes. I'm planning that one soon. If I gain super powers from it that would be cool too.

Damn I had some dreams I wanted to talk about but maybe that can wait.

My dreams = [link]

I wrote this pretty decent journal about my stay with emma in belgium but, she complained about me mentioning intimate stuff so I deleted it and now I'm being completely honest.

I went belgium with the intent of just trying to be a friend, but by the time I got to the arrivals part of the airport she was sending me dirty texts. Frankly I was alittle disgusted. I mean I thought we were better than this?

I didn't even see her coming. She is kinda small though. she jumped me from behind and was tearing off my shirt before I could even say hi. In my head I screamed " NO NO!" She punched me in the face and started tonguing me. ....

Ok, that's mean. I could so go places with this. I'm at work too so I'll stop now.

ok one more. I totally had my hands in....no no stopping now.

Trip was good. Emmas loves me enough and is infact bothering me as I type so I'll do details later. here's a video I made.

[link]

P.S.

WE ALSO HAD BUTTSECKS!